Forsaken
by forever-seth
Summary: What if Edward had been too late to save Bella at the ballet studio? What happens when Bella wakes up, a newborn? And, most importantly, why is she alone? Where is Edward? Where will she go now?
1. Preface

**_Full Summary: What if Edward had been too late to save Bella at the ballet studio? What happens when Bella wakes up, a newborn? And, most importantly, why is she alone? Where is Edward? Where will she go now? To Denali or back to Forks? What has happened to her extended family? Why did they leave her?_**

**_Disclaimer: I own no part of Twilight_**

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Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice.

-Robert Frost

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~Preface~

Fire.

It seared through my veins, spreading throughout my body. I arched my back, screaming. Asking for anybody to end the agony that boiled my blood. I couldn't focuse on anything but the pain. The fire slowly spread up my limbs, and I screamed again. I gritted my teeth and my hands formed fists. Think about something else, I shouted in my mind. So, instead, I focused on the one thing that could distract me from anything.

Edward.

My angel. I had his face locked in my mind. I memorized every detail of him: the amber eyes, his bronze locks, those perfect lips. I replayed our time together over and over, from our first kiss to our last. I pictured his icy arms locked around me, cooling the fire. I imagined him whispering soothing words of comfort into my ears, gently brushing a piece of hair from my face and kissing my temple. Eventually, I began to calm my breathing and my chest seemed to rise and fall slower. I envisioned Edward in his glory, golden eyes focused on me as he extended a hand. I fantasized taking his hand and he swept my to his chest. We gently danced, my lullaby playing sweetly in the background. I laughed as he dipped me slightly and then pressed his cold lips gingerly to mine. He pulled me back up, grinning that crooked smile of his and twirled me around. He pulled me back into his chest, tucking my head under his chin. The image dissolved as I shrieked and twisted in pain. The fire was back and the cool retreat of Edward's arms had only been a dream. I cried out and my hands formed fists again. Questions flew back and forth in my head. What was happening to me? Why was it happening to me? Was I dying? But the most important one made me feel anguished.

Where was Edward?

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**_What did you think? Should I continue? This idea has been nagging me to write it down for a while..._**

**_Reviews are welcome! _**


	2. Alone

**_Full Summary: What if Edward had been too late to save Bella at the ballet studio? What happens when Bella wakes up, a newborn? And, most importantly, why is she alone? Where is Edward? Where will she go now? To Denali or back to Forks? What has happened to her extended family? Why did they leave her?_**

**_Disclaimer: I own no part of Twilight_**

**_Any words between *-* are from Breaking Dawn. Page numbers: 367-425_**

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We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone.

Only through our love and friendship can we create the

illusion for the moment that we're not alone.

-Orson Welles

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The pain was tormenting. It was all I could focus on. I breathed in yet another shaky breath and let it out. The fire was burning, ever so slowly toward my heart. It was agonzing, at the pace it was going. The ever slow pace allowed me to feel every new blaze. The fire seemed to slowly be retreating from my limbs, and I could feel the tips of my fingers cool slightly. As the flames died down there, they retreated toward my heart. I screamed as the bite of the flame made itself known to my chest. I felt my heart hammering loud and fast, trying to escape the inferno it was doomed to be fated. My pants came faster and I twisted in agony. My body was an alter for the blaze and my heart was the sacrifice. The flare seemed to grow brighter and hotter as it gathering at my heart, the flames licking at the organ that kept me human. The sound of my heart thudded in my ears. I arched my back as my heart pounded fastly. Then it stuttered before surrenduring to the flames. My heart had stopped.

I fell back and stayed silent. The fire was gone from my arms and I could feel the cool air on them. I didn't breath, waiting slowly in silence. The pain was gone, no more fire to be felt. I took a deep breath, tasting the scents around me. I stayed silent as I listened closely. I could hear a faint, thudding rhythm, with a voice that shouted angrily to the beat. Rap music? I was mystified for a moment, and then the sound faded away like a car passing by with the windows rolled down. With a start, I realized that this could be exactly right. Could I hear all the way to the freeway?

Then I opened my eyes. I gasped as I stared up into the night sky, seeing every small detail of the cloudy night. I turned my eyes unblinkly to the ground and scanned the area closely. I was in a forest. It seemed to be night, but I could see the forest as though it were daytime. I watched as a breeze rustled tree branches above me and examined a leaf that fell to the ground. Shocked, I realized that I could see every vein to it and it seemed to be a much more beautiful green than I had ever seen. I stood slowly and my eyes darted around my surroundings. No animals made a presence and the insects were silent. A small grin settled on my face as I jumped. I must have jumped five feet in the air and I hadn't even tried! I jumped again, twirling carelessly. I felt so graceful, like a ballerina or a feline. I dashed to the other side of the small clearing I was in and my grin spread as I realized exactly how fast I was. I took off, racing through the forest, leaping gracefully and twirling like a little girl. I loved this feeling, I felt so young and free. I felt like I was reborn.

I dodged the trees perfectly, not even the branches could touch me. I felt free. The wind blew my hair back and I smiled at the speed, it was exhilarating. I finally slowed at a river, curious of what to do. Should I jump over it or swim? I crouched at the edge of the river and looked down into the river. Then I gasped.

*My first reaction was unthinking pleasure. The alien creature in the water was indisputably beautiful, every bit as beautiful as Alice or Esme. She was fluid even in stillness, and her flawless face was pale as the moon against the frame of her dark, heavy hair. Her limbs were smooth and strong, skin glistening subtly, luminous as a pearl. My second reaction was horror.  
Who was she? A first glance, I couldn't find my face anywhere in the smooth, perfect planes of her features. And her eyes! Though I'd known to expect them, her eyes sent a thrill of terror through me. All the while I studied and reacted, her face was perfectly composed, a carving of a goddess, showing nothing of the turmoil roiling inside me. I stared at the beautiful woman with terrifying eyes, looking for pieces of me. There _was_ something there in the shape of her lips-if you looked past the dizzying beauty, it was true that her upper lip was slightly out of balance, a little too full to match the lower. Finding this familiar little flaw made me feel a tiny bit better. Maybe the rest of me was in there, too.

I raised my hand experimentally, and the woman in the mirror copied the movement, touching her face, too. Her crimson eyes watched me warily.* I tilted my head slightly and watched as the goddess in the mirror mimicked me. I reached a pale hand out and stroked the waters surface. The image dissolved and I focused on the river rocks at the bottom. I smiled as a fish swam quickly past me.

I took a deep breath. The action felt wrong. I considered, and realized that the problem was that there was no relief tied to the action. I didn't need the air. My lungs weren't waiting for it. They reacted differently to the influx. I did not need the air, but I _liked_ it. In it, I could taste the forest around me. And everything was so _clear_. Sharp. Defined.*

So this proved it. I was a vampire. I glanced at the river once more and confirmed it again with my reflection. I also had the burn in my throat to prove it.

*Until I'd mentioned it, the thirst wasn't unmanageable. There was so much room in my head. A separate part of my brain was keeping tabs on the burn in my throat, almost like a reflex. The way my old brain had handled breathing and blinkng. But that simple though had brought the burn to the forefront of my mind. Suddenly, the dry ache was all I could think about, and the more I thought about it, the more it hurt. My hand flew up to cup my throat, like I could smother the flames from the outside. The skin of my neck was strange beneath my fingers. So smooth it was somehow soft, though it was hard as stone, too.

I bit my lip, what was I supposed to do? Just let your instincts take over, a voice whispered in my mind. So, I followed my instincts and closed my eyes.

*I could hear _everything_; the whisper of birds preening their feathers in the treetops, their fluttering heartbeats, the maple leaves scraping together, the faint clicking of ants following each other ina long line up the bark of the nearest tree. But I knew I was searching for something specific, so I let my ears range outward, seeking something different than the small hum of life that surrounded me. There was an open space near me-the wind had a different sound across the exposed grass-and a small creek, with a rocky bed. And there, near the noise of the water, was the splash of lapping tongues, the loud thudding of heavy hearts, pumping thick streams of blood. It felt like the sides of my throat had been sucked closed. I breathed in deeply, smelling the resin in the evergreens, the warm, almost nutty, aroma off the small rodents cowering beneath the tree roots. And then, reaching out again, the clean smell of the water, which was surprisingly unappealing despite my thirst. I focused toward the water and found the scent that must have gone with the lapping noise and the pounding heartbeat. Another warm smell, rich and tangy, stronger than the others. And yet nearly as unappealing as the brook. I wrinkled my nose.

I though about what to do, my eyes still shut as I listened and breathed in the scent. another bout of baking thirst intruded on my awareness, and suddenly the warm, tangy, odor wasn't quite so objectionable. At least it would be something hot and wet in my desiccated mouth. My eyes snapped open. I let myself drift with the scent, barely aware of my movement as I ghosted down the incline to the narrow meadow where the stream flowed. My body shifted forward automatically into a low crouch as I hesitated at the bush-fringed edge of the trees. I could see a big bull, two dozen antler points crowning his head, at the streams edge, and the shadow spotted shapes of the four others heading eastward into the forest at a leisurely pace. I centered myself around the scent of the male, the hot spot in his shaggy neck where the warmth pulsed strongest. Only thirty yards-two or three bounds-between us. I tensed myself for the first leap. But as my muscles bunched in preparation, the wind shifted, blowing stronger now, and from the south. I didn't stop to think, hurtling out of the trees in a path perpendicular to my original plane, scaring the elk into the forest, racing after a new fragrance so attractive that there wasn't a choice. It was compulsory. The scent ruled completely. I was single-minded as I traced it, aware only of the thirst, and the smell that promised to quench it. The thirst got worse, so painful now that it confused all my other thoughts and began to remind me of the burn of venom in my veins. I crouched lowly, snarling slightly.

The wind shifted, blowing the smell of wet earth and coming rain across my face, further freeing me from the other scent's fiery grip-a scen so delicious it could only be human. With a jerk, I straightened out of my crouch, holding my breath as I refocused.* I _couldn't_ do this. No, I would _not_ allow myself to become a monster. I shook myself and burst out into a flat-out sprint, towards the north and as far away as I could get. I couldn't seem to get enough space between me and the unsuspecting human that almost became my first meal. I dodged the trees, noticing how they seemed to lessen and the temperature changed drastically. Not that it bothered me any. A thought flitted through my mind and I stopped instantly. I bit my lip uncertainly. I was sure it must be safe here, but I held my breath to be safe. I scanned the trees around me nervously and then carefully let out a breath, breathing in carefully. The taste of dirt and sunshine were there, but no delicious and sweet scent of-

Instantly, my throat was set on fire again. I closed my eyes and repeated what I had done earlier. I could hear the thud of padded paws to my right, about a mile away. I breathed in the scent of the forest, searching deeper. The scent hit me. It was more sharp and appealing than the elk. I ghosted over the land again, this time in a hunting crouch. Then I saw it. It was a feline, a cougar. It stalked dangerously at the forest floor, searching for a meal. The hunter had become the hunted. I leaped at it, its rich scent overwhelmming me. It shrieked at me, slashing its exposed claws for my body. But my rock hard skin wasn't even scratched. I went for the neck, moaning in pleasure as my teeth sliced through its skin like I was biting into butter. The flavor was wrong, but the blood was hot and wet and it soothed the ragged, itching thirst as I drank in an eager rush. The cat was finished before I was. I shoved its body off me, irritated. Why hadn't the thirst gone away? I growled lowly to myself before launching into another hunt. This time, I had to settle for a white-tailed deer. I took down the biggest buck, draining his jugular of the red liquid. I sighed as his sacrifice dulled the thirst. But only slightly. So, I hunted again. I ended up drained three white-tailed deer. That, along with the cougar, had me feeling slightly sloshy. The thirst was there, but not as bad as in the beginning. I took refuge as rain started to fall and escaped to a small cave. I curled into myself as I started to think.

I started with what I had remembered last. I closed my eyes and dove into my clouded human memories. James' face appeared behind my closed eyelids and I gasped. It all came rushing back, the memories were unsurfacing from when I had pushed them down, enjoying my new vampirism. I stood, dashing out into the rain. James' had bitten me. But I _saw_ Edward there, he was there. His face was the last thing I saw. But where was he?

"No!" I cried, but it sounded like singing. *My voice rang and shimmered like a bell.* I stopped only for a moment to wonder in awe; there was no way my voice could sound like that. I dashed through the rain mindlessly, tring to figure out where I was going.

"Edward!" I called. _"Edward!"_ Where was he? Why had he left? I searched the area, tracing my scent for a few miles before collapsing.

I don't know how long I searched, but it was long enough. I remember having to hunt repeatedly, because the thirst got worst. I searched every square mile of . . . where I was located. To be honest, I wasn't exactly sure where I was. The humid air and the taste of the ocean gave me the idea that I was somewhere in the south, and possibly near an ocean. I stayed where my scent was though, never pushing the boundries of where I should go. I finally traced my own scent to the very beginning of everything. To the place where I was left to be changed. I could tell, because my human scent smothered the area. I slowly stepped to the spot where I had been left, eyes going immediatly to the faint imprint of my body that remained. I breathed deeply, taking in my strawberries-freesias-and-clean human scent. I flared my nostrils, digging deeper. My eyes widened and my mouth fell open as a scent hit me.

Honey, lilac, and sunshine.

Edward. My eyes softened as I immediately drifted toward the scent. It was days old, and the scent had been weakened by the rain. I followed the scent for a few miles before it lead me to the edge of the forest. I hesitated. This would be my first time away from the safety of the trees. It may have been nighttime, but what if a human were wandering around. I decided that this was probably the only chance I would get to see where Edward had gone, being as the scent would disappear in a few mere days. I stopped at the edge of the trees, examining the sight before me. It was a burnt down building, with caution tape around the perimeter of the area. I looked around carefully and, spotting no humans, stepped to the scene.

I slowly walked over and ducked daintily under the tape. My naked feet were dirtied instantly, the soot clinging to them eagerly. I spread my toes against the ash and wrinkled my nose. I didn't like the feeling. It felt like I was standing on sand that had been droused in oil. I drifted through the remains of the building, looking around curiously. Somewhere, in my subconcouis mind, I knew this place had to do with my changing. I examined the remains carefully. There were a few pieces of shattered mirror and I bent down to pick one up carefully. The edges were sharp, and it would have sliced my skin if I were a human. I fingered it carefully and then frowned as I saw the corner was crusted with dried blood. This was getting curious and more curious by the moment. I felt like I was missing something-something BIG. I kept ahold of the piece of the mirror, sifting through the debris. I frowned as I found a piece of a schedule.

Phoenix Ballet Lessons.

Oh.

_Oh_.

It all came rushing back now. My breath was let out in a whoosh. The ballet studio. This was where I had been last as a human. This was where I had . . . been changed. I glanced to my wrist and flinched as my eyes flicked over the pale scar. I examined my hands curiously and found another bite mark on my other wrist. I frowned; I didn't remember James biting me twice. I glanced down at my bare feet and saw that there were faint teeth marks on my ankles as well. I took the mirror in my grip and tilted it to see my neck. Another trace of teeth marks. I brushed my fingers against the pale skin on my neck, imagining the feel of lips there before the sharp stinging pain of venom. I winced and continued through the fire pyre. I was drawn to a certain corner of the debris, where I found even more pieces of glass with blood on them. My blood.

I brushed the pieces of mirror away, searching. I searched for _anything_ that would tell me where they were. I dug through the soot and began to shake as I found nothing. As I was about to leave, I saw a piece of cloth stuck between a brick and the ground. I brushed the brick away carelessly, picking up the piece of cloth carefully. I brought it to my nose before breathing in deeply. I flinched instantly, hissing. The cloth was covered in the scent of burning embers and flames. It smelled like soot and ash. But I took another breath and picked up the slight scent of lilacs. Edward again.

I held the mirror and piece of fabric close as I dashed under the caution tape and into the forest. I ran back to my cave, collapsing in agony. My family was gone, they had left me. I was born into this life alone and I was fated to live it alone as well. I was a newborn vampire with no guidance and a danger to human kind. I shook, burying my face in my knees. Agony ripped through me and my throat close, but this time with sorrow rather than thirst. My eyes felt dry and agitated and I gulped in air awkwardly. My body shook and I realized I was sobbing. This was what I had been condemned to. A wail ripped from my torso as I continued to sob.

I was alone in this cruel world, and had no idea how to carry on or what to do.

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**Well? Hate it? I certainly hope not.. **

**Reviews are greatly appreciated! Goodnight!**


	3. Daydreams

**_Full Summary: What if Edward had been too late to save Bella at the ballet studio? What happens when Bella wakes up, a newborn? And, most importantly, why is she alone? Where is Edward? Where will she go now? To Denali or back to Forks? What has happened to her extended family? Why did they leave her?_**

**_Disclaimer: I own no part of Twilight_**

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**As soon as forever is through, I'll be over you. **

**~Toto **

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I waited there for three days. Three long, never-ending days. I knew it was hopeless that they would come back, but I had faith. My faith was wasted though. At dusk on the third day, I decided I would leave. I decided I would go back to Forks, my hometown.

The first thing I did was to fix up my clothes to the best of my ability. My shirt had been ripped past recogniziation from my first meal with the cougar, so I tore a few strips of cloth here and there and made it look like a strapless top. I had washed my jeans to the best of my ability the previous day, leting them sit out overnight. I slipped them on, buttoning them quickly. I tucked the piece of mirror into my back pocket carefully and brought the strip of Edward's shirt to my nose. I breathed in deeply, recoiling at the ashy scent. But, none-the-less, Edward's scent was filtered into my brain. I smiled slightly and I tied it around my wrist carefully, like a wrist band. Then I ran.

I loved running. It had become clear the first few days how invigorating it was to me. I was in a rapture while I ran, it was exhilarating to me. I could never tell how fast I was going, but I knew that it was pretty fast because the trees would blur slightly and my hair would be thrown back into the wind. I could never understand how I was afraid of running with Edward, it seemed absurd now. Edward . . . the name was like a physical pain to me. I stopped running, leaning over to put a hand on a tree. I gasped for useless air as my lungs seemed to disappear. I didn't_ need _the air for my lungs to function, but then why did it hurt so much. The pain of his name tore through my chest and I sucked in another useless breath. The pain was horrifying. I sank to the ground gasping in pain.

Edward.

I wailed as his name brought another round of breathlessness. He was the pain, the torture. I curled up on my side, delving into my thoughts. He was the reason of my pain. He had left, I realized. I had been adandoned. He hadn't _wanted_ me. The thought made me sickened and I fought not to vomit. I wondered at my epiphany, even though it had not been a cheerful one.

I was alone. And even though Edward had promised me he loved me, I knew it had been too good to last. I was simply a toy to him, a human play-thing. I always would be. I had been a weak human, one that he had to chase after when I went to meet James. My breath left my chest. Edward had left me once he realized I had been changed, it dawned on me. He had left because he realized I was becoming immortal, and he couldn't stay around. He didn't want me around for eternity, as an immortal pest. I buried my face in my knees, realizing that this had to be true. What other explanation was there?

Now what was I supposed to do? I bit my lip tentatively as I sat up. I could always go back to Forks, it seemed right. I knew that I would no longer be able to see my father, being as I existed as a blood-thirsty vampire now. I tilted my head to the side, wondering at this label. Well, maybe not so much the blood-thirsty part. I shook my head, seeing how easy it was for a newborn vampire, like myself, to be distracted. I refocused my thoughts back on going back to Forks. I skimmed over my advantages and disadvantages. Well, I could probably get some new clothes for one thing. And I could check up on my father, carefully. I could run into the Cullens. Disadvantages were I could possibly kill Charlie, being overcome with bloodlust. I could go on a massacre and kill all my friends in Forks. Or I could run into the Cullens. I winced at all of those. And yes, running into the Cullens could be a good thing and a bad thing.

I sighed, standing up and glad to be distracted. The disadvantages outweighed the advantages by far. I would not be returning to Forks then. I brushed myself off slightly, swinging my hair behind my shoulder. So where would I go? I tilted my head, thinking quickly. North, my instincts told me. I wasn't exactly sure where in the north, but I knew it would be best for me farth away from the south. I took off, racing through the forest and dodging trees.

**~x~X~x~**

I ran for two days before I hit Canada. I imagined it would have been longer, but with my newborn strength I was able to run faster. I had a few close run-ins with humans on the way. One almost resulted in a death. I shuddered at the memory, moving further to the back of the cave I was in. The human had merely been chasing her daughter carefreely, and the slight breeze had brought her scent to me. I had collapsed to my knees, burying my fingers in the dirt. When that failed to keep me from hunting, I growled lowly. It was a loud sound, echoing through the forest and to the mother's ears. To her, it must have sounded like an angry animal because she pulled her daughter close to her and dashed inside. I was relieved slightly of the burn in my throat, with her thudding heartbeat gone. I was able to run for another seventeen hours and wound up here in my cave. I was somewhere deep in Canada, all I could smell was wilderness. The fresh and unpolluted air, the smell of the trees and flowers in bloom, the musky scent of elk . . .

My throat was set aflame and I snarled, pressing my back against the wall of the damp cave. I didn't want to hunt. I didn't want to do anything. I wanted to stay here, in the cave. I winced as my thirst was ignited again as the scent of a bear drifted into the mouth of a cave, tempting me. I moaned and wrapped my arms around my legs in an iron embrace. No, no, no, no, I chanted in my mind. I rocked back and forth slightly. I didn't want to hunt. I wanted to stay here and ruminate in my anguish. But more than anything, I wanted to die.

A sob ripped at my chest as I bit down on my right wrist, where the unknown bite mark was located. I winced as my teeth broke the flesh and venom met venom. It was the pain of the burning all over again, except this time it was my own venom. I was able to take my focus of the burn of my throat and put all my attention toward the burn on my wrist. I flicked my tongue of the wound, concealing it with another coat of venom so it would heal. I froze as my tongue passed over the wound. My taste buds burned and I licked my wound again. My eyes widened before I closed them slowly. I leaned my forehead against the dank wall of the cave, a whimper slipping from my throat.

I hissed and clutched my arm to my chest. He was here, too. I took a deep breath, trying to real in my anger. Edward had bitten me on my right wrist. I could taste his lips, even his venom. It was tormenting, the taste of him. I licked my lips, savoring his taste. It was impossible to describe, so sweet and irresistible. I moaned as I realized I was doing it again, reminiscing in the past. It wasn't pleasant. I brought my wrist to my mouth, kissing the skin softly.

"I love you, Edward." I whispered before slouching to the ground. It was painful to love, to give everything you had, only to have it ripped violently away from you. I took in one last breath before I decided to stop breathing all together. It was easier this way, I reassured myself. If I could shut down my body and needs, then I could shut out the emotions. I closed my eyes, shaking my head and letting my hair fall on my face.

I fell into a trance, to put it easily. I didn't like to refer to it as a 'catatonic state'. In this state of mind, I simply thought. It was all I could do. But mostly, I delved into the past. I mused over my time with Edward repeatedly, wondering what I had did wrong to make him leave me. I was aware to my every mistake, even in the cloudy human memories. I was attentive to my every flaw. It was enlightening, yet torturing at the same time. But most of the time, I simply made up day-dreams of us. In some, he would sweep me off my feet and we danced to my lullaby. In a most alluring one, he and I were at the beach and he was shirtless. I was watching, enticed at his skin sent reflections onto my skin. I would laugh heartily, and he would grin his crooked grin and bend down to brush his lips against mine . . .

They were all basically the same. Edward and I would spend time together, sweet moments would be spent, and he would kiss me. Then I would move on to the next daydream. It was amazing how my vampire mind worked, how I was able to go on and on with different situations for the visions. My favorite was the most simple of them all.

_"Edward," I called, treading lightly through the house. I tilted my head curiously, listening as the soft tinkering of piano keys floated up to Edward's room. I paused at his door way before a soft smile formed on my face. I walked lightly down the stairs of the Cullen house, waving to the rest of the Cullens as they sat in the living room. Alice waved eccentricly, pointing to a magazine and smiling widely. I giggled and waved back at her before dashing to the piano room. I deliberated at the door, speculating over whether to go in or just stay outside. The tinkering of the keys slowly evolved into my lullaby and I stood there, a grin spreading on my face. That was when I knew he concious of my presence. I pushed the door open slowly and carefully shut it behind me. I walked slowly over to him, standing behind him and watching as his hands flew gently over the keys. I shut my eyes, tilting my head and basking in the sound of my berceuse. I took a few steps forward and rested my hand on his shoulder. I saw his cheek lift in a smile and I wrapped my arms around his torso, careful not to disturb his flowing fingers._

_He finished my lullaby and the last note chimed in the air harmoniously. He turned slightly, taking my in his arms and sliding me on the bench with him. I laughed and he silenced me with a kiss. I tangled my hands in his unruly hair and pulled myself closer. He didn't respect his rules this time and his tongue ran over my bottom lip. I granted him entrance and our tongues battled for dominance. It didn't seem like I needed breath and we kissed fiercely. We both broke away, in bliss. I leaned my forehead against his and gazed into his topaz eyes, biting my lip. His cool breath caressed my face and I smiled. He grinned his crooked smile for me and I chuckled._

_"Play for me, darling." I murmured, burying my face in his shoulder. He smiled mistieviously and took both my hands in his. I glanced at him curiously, but he simply nodded toward the piano. I watched as he laid my fingers on the soft ivory keys. He grasped my hands firmly in his and started to play. It was a simple tune, one I didn't recognize, but I loved it instantly. He fingers guided mine nimbly, making my fingers play the song. I repeated the same tune over and over again, for what seemed like an hour. But there was no way I could be bored, I was delighted. I hardly noticed when Edward's fingers slipped from mine and he began to play a soft accompaniment. I beamed at him with pride. We were playing together! We were like the song, neither of us could be complete with out the other. We finished slowly and my fingers ceased playing at the same time Edward moved to pull me into his chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my lips eagerly against his. We kissed so tenderly, with a sweetness that couldn't be compared to anything. It made my heart swell. I pulled back, grinning once again at my Edward. MY Edward. His cold fingers traced patterns on my arms mindlessly._

A cold hand grasped my bicep firmly, giving me a shake. My eyes snapped open, teeth clenching. I let out a hiss that was supposed to sound threatening, but failed miserably. I found myself staring up into the golden eyes of a vampire.

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**Okay, just so you guys know, those last italisized (sp?) words are Bella's daydream. And I'm sick, so, hopefully, I will have another chapter up by the 6th...**

**Other News: I started a facebook page! It's under fang luver454. Go like it! Haha, don't worry, I made it so I can't see who likes it and no one knows who I am..so we're all good!**

**R&R!**


	4. Home

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Full Summary: What if Edward had been too late to save Bella at the ballet studio? What happens when Bella wakes up, a newborn? And, most importantly, why is she alone? Where is Edward? Where will she go now? To Denali or back to Forks? What has happened to her extended family? Why did they leave her?

**_Disclaimer: I own no part of Twilight_**

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**Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.**

**~J.K. Rowling**

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I reacted immediately, snarling and backing away. My back hit the wall of the cave and I growled lowly at the vampire before me, feeling trapped. I was weak and trapped, I realized. Not a good position to be in. I snapped at the vampire, lunging at her weakly and baring my teeth. She deflected my blow easily and I slumped to the ground, leaving my neck unguarded and completely going against my instincts. I shifted and glanced curiously at the vampire before me. She had pale blond hair, straight as corn silk. Her golden eyes were wide in amazement and her face was smooth as ivory. Her teeth were slightly exposed, as if she didn't know what to think of me. My eyes darkened as I took in her defensive stance, but I didn't even bother to mirror her. I didn't know how long I had been in this cave, but it had been long enough. I was feeble and powerless from not feeding.

The female vampire slowly straightened out of her defensive stance and sank down to sit Indian-style. I glared at her and attempted to hiss. Another epic fail. She leaned forward slowly and breathed in my scent. I winced and recoiled.

"Leave," I whispered hoarsely. The first word I had spoken. She looked surprised as I spoke and put her hands up in a calming manor.

"I don't wish you any harm," she said soothingly, her voice as silky as her hair. "My name is Kate." I glared at her and started to get to my knees. I was too unsteady and dropped back to the cave floor. I turned my back to her, trying to go back to my trance state I had succeeded in before. I felt a breeze and didn't need to open my eyes to realize that the strange vampire was gone. A few mere minutes later, I heard her return.

Except, this time, she wasn't alone. My eyes snapped open as a breeze drifted their scents further into the cave. I snarled for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, and this time there were responsive growls. I drug myself to my feet facing the group of vampires at the mouth of the cave. There were four of them, three females and a male. The familiar vampire, Kate, was in front near a vampire with narrowed golden eyes and bouncing strawberry curls. The other female had long and straight black hair and her ivory skin was slightly olive toned. The male looked similar to the female with black hair. He shared her black hair and olive toned skin, as well as golden eyes. But that was the end to similarities. The way he held the female with black haired woman to his side, I assumed they were mates.

_Mates_. The word tore through my torso and a wail escaped my lips. The four vampires stiffened in shock and the male sank down into a crouch. The vampire with strawberry curls bared her teeth and glared at me. Kate shifted nervously. The black-haired female's eyes widened and she shifted behind the male. I hissed at them and the one with strawberry curls growled in reply. I narrowed my eyes, before sighing and glancing at them from under my lashes.

"I don't mean to come across as a threat," I said smoothly. "If this is your territory, I'll understand. I can be out of here in a moment's notice." They looked stunned that I was able to form a coherant sentence.

"How old are you, young one?" The male asked. I tilted my head to the left, calculating.

"I've been a vampire for two weeks, if that's what you're asking." I said softly. I immediately knew something was wrong by the way he stiffened and exchanged glances with the one called Kate. I stopped breathing, eyes scanning the cave for a threat. They were obviously worried.

"What is it?" I asked. "Is something wrong?" Alarm seeped into my tone and they seemed to jump to calm me.

"No, no." Kate reassured me. "It's just that you're a newborn." My confusions must have shown on my face because the one with strawberry-blond curls explained.

"It means that you've just been turned. Vampires are referred to newborns in their first two years of life. They're stronger than your average vampire because of the human blood in their system from being human." she said. I nodded to show her I followed along. I knew what a newborn _was_, but I wasn't sure why I was posed as a threat until now.

"What's your name?" she asked curiously.

"Isabella. But I prefer Bella." I said quietly.

"Oh, well it's nice to meet you, Bella." she smiled for the first time, all evidence of aggressiveness gone. "I'm Tanya, the leader of our family. You already know Kate, and the other woman over there is Carmen. The man in front of her is Eleazar." I nodded, eyes flicking toward each of the faces and matching them with the names.

I nodded once to each of them. Carmen gave me a sincere smile and Kate joined her. Eleazar nodded once at me, not exactly unwelcoming, but not exactly inviting either. I pressed my back against the cave wall, sliding down to the floor in fatigue. I was careful to keep my instincts in mind as I tried to trust the vampires before me.

"We're the Denali coven." Tanya announced and I frowned.

"Denali, Alaska?" I asked.

"The one and only," Kate replied cheerfully. I was about to reply when the scent of a moose hit my senses. I winced, moaning and biting down on my hand gently. I was careful not to break the skin as I locked my jaws on my hand. I only did it out of reflex, used to doing it after all these hours. I closed my eyes, trying to get the scent out of my head. A hand gently wrapped around my wrist, pulling it from my mouth. I was so shocked, I went along with it. My eyes snapped open and I came face-to-face with the black-haired female, Carmen.

"Hey," she whispered. "Don't do this." I felt my eyes widen and they felt dry. I choked on a sob, turning away from her.

"I don't want to live," I cried, stunning them again. "I don't want to be damned to this pain. It hurts, it hurts so bad. _They left me_! They left me alone. _He_ left me. I _loved _him, he was my everything! And he just abandoned me." I was dry sobbing by the end of my rant. I was desperate. I wrapped my fingers around Carmen's wrists.

"Kill me," I begged. "Kill me, please." My voice broke and I saw that Carmen was trying to free her wrists from my grasp. Eleazar jumped forward, snarling fiercely. He tugged Carmen away from me and I slumped toward the ground. I flinched, realizing that I had been categorized as a threat.

"Please," I murmured. "Just end me." I curled in on myself, hugging my torso tightly. I closed my eyes tightly, hoping that when I opened them the coven before me would disappear. I cringed as two arms slipped under me. I frowned and squirmed uneasily. The arms were warm. I peeked up at the vampire holding me shyly and Carmen smiled down at me warmly.

"You're warm," I murmured and she nodded. "Kate was cold." I stated. Carmen looked to Kate for an explanation.

"I had buried the carcass of an elk in the snow. My hands must have been cold." she shrugged. I looked at Carmen in wonder and reached a shaking hand to stroke her arm with the tip of my forefinger. I smiled secretly as my finger met her smooth skin. It was warm and comforting and I glanced up at Carmen.

"I thought vampires were cold," I said softly, sounding like a child. She nodded.

"Vampires are cold to humans, but to each other, we feel warm." she explained. I sat, taking this in. I was learning more about vampires by the minute. Edward had never told me this much about being a vampire. Instantly, I froze and shriveled at his name. I snapped my eyes shut and focused on the rhythm of Carmen's steps.

"Where are you taking me?" I whimpered.

"Home," she said simply. Then we were running.

I sighed at the familiarity of the feeling. My hair fluttered back from the wind and I longed to feel my own feet hit the ground. Carmen ran fast, though not as fast as I could. I felt her slow, after about thirty minutes of running. She slid me into a car and I struggled to right myself. I pressed myself against the door as Carmen entered the back with me. She motioned for me to move over to the middle and I did as she said. But first, I glanced out the window. I gasped at how much the landscape had changed in the course of two weeks. The trees were frosted over and there were icicles hanging from their branches. The ground was covered in what had to be a foot of snow, and I examined it in wonder. I rolled down the window, breathing the fresh air of the cool night. I watched, transfixed as a ray of moonlight fell through an icicle, making it shimmer slightly. The night was clear, the stars perfectly visible. I took a breath, and laughed as the cold cut air sliced through my lungs. I could _taste _the night, the coolness of the air and the taste of fresh fallen snow. It seemed impossible to taste these things, and yet I could still identify them as the items that penetrated my senses.

I could hear awestruck giggles behind me and I turned around, slightly confused. Carmen was grinning, tiny laughs escaping her pink lips. I was hurt, and must have shown it on my face because she quieted and shot me an anxious smile.

"Why are you laughing at me?" I asked, miffed. Wariness was alert in her eyes as she spoke.

"I wasn't laughing at you. It just amazes me how something so simple could make you so carefree." she spoke carefully, as if trying not to disturb me. I let the hurt expression slide off my face and smiled timidly at her.

"I guess I'm still getting used to being a vampire. I guess that things just catch me by surprise from time to time." I whispered, glancing out the window again.

"Yes, it is a lot to take in." she admitted. We sat for a few moments in silence.

"Where are the others?" I asked.

"They had to finish hunting. They should be here any minute now." she offered. I nodded and wrapped my arms around myself comfortingly.

"You know," she said suddenly. "You don't have to come with us. If you want to leave, that's fine. I did sort of take you without asking." She smiled sheepishly at me and smiled tentatively back.

"No," I whispered, looking at my hands. "I want to stay with you. I don't want to be alone anymore." There was another silence.

"Unless you don't want _me_ here," I added quickly. "I can leave." She shook her head vehemently, and I stopped.

"No, Bella. We most certainly want you here. Tanya is a bit wary, but she is eager to have another sister. And Kate already sees you as her sister." she laughed. I fidgeted uneasily.

"What about . . . " I hesitated, dropping my voice to a whisper. " . . . your mate?" I flinched at the word and Carmen looked at me curiously.

"Eleazar is just a stubborn fool," she said, smiling to herself. "He's just worried about me. Don't worry, he'll come to his senses eventually." She rolled her eyes and I managed a weak giggle. I scooted closer to her and rested my head gingerly on her shoulder. She stroked my hair encouragingly, reminding me of a mother's touch. I sighed in pleasure and closed my eyes.

"I'm . . . so tired," I murmured. "I just want to sleep." I could feel her tense up and I felt my eyes slip shut.

"Bella," she said in a low tone. "Don't go to sleep. Stay awake with me." She continued to plead with me, but I simply chose not to listen. I wanted so badly to slip into the state I was in before, the tranquil peace of mind. Somewhere, my mind objected, telling me that it was an unnatural for a vampire to be catatonic like that. But I didn't care. I didn't have anything to care for.

"But . . . I'm so tired, Carmen." I yawned and burrowed into her motherly figure. She grabbed at my body frantically, shaking my shoulders hard. My teeth snapped together and the sound revibrated through my skull.

"It's not natural for a vampire to sleep, Bella." she cried desperately. "Don't go to sleep." I forced my eyes open and managed a flimsy glare at her. She finally scooped up my tiny torso in her arms and darted out of the car. I groaned at the sudden movement. She stopped just as soon, setting me down softly. I winced as snow covered my jeans and turned to glower at Carmen. But I found that she was gone. I looked around, confused and hurt. Why did she leave me? What did I do wrong? A sudden snap made me scramble to the tree trunk behind me and I looked around, wide-eyed. A large thud came from in front of me and I flinched. Then I caught the scent. A deer. I growled fiercely before pouncing on the carcass before me. The burn was on full blast, my throat as bone dry and on fire. I sank my teeth into its neck, emitting a moan as the life-sustaining fluid flowed down my throat. The animal was drained before I was done and I glowered at the body angrily. I was aware of another presence and I snarled at the female before me. She raised her hands in surrender and I glared at her dangerously before whipping my head to the left to catch a breeze. The scent of moose drifted along the current and I took off, racing for the animals. I found them quickly and took down the largest buck. It let out a bellow in its deep baritone and I decapitated it gruesomely. I payed no attention and buried my face in the thick of its neck, where the neck met the shoulder. My teeth sliced through its thick skin and I gulped greedily. I finished it early, letting the excess blood flow out of the wounds. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and sat back, examining what I had done with horror.

The moose's body was a few yards in front of me, the rest of the blood draining slowly. It's head rested several yards away from it's body and I turned away, sickened. There was blood everywhere, on the trees and staining the new snow. This was what I had been reduced to. I had become a monster. I refused to look at the moose or the blood soaked snow. I closed my eyes, wishing desperately that I could cry. I had everything torn away from me in the most ruthless way possible. I had left behind my human family, Renee and Charlie. It may not have been much, but it was enought to force a sob from my chest.

Charlie and Renee. Sweet, shy Charlie. So overprotective of his daughter, and spreading the news that his long-lost daughter was coming to live with him and having everybody know my name months before I arrive. He had been reunited with his only child, only to have her ripped away. The sobs came easily now. Renee. God, I would never see my mother again. My reckless, childish mother. My mother. The one who gave birth to me, who held me when I cried. Even though I knew that I was mainly the adult in our relationship, she would still be the one who had given me life. I was her and Charlie's baby.

Children. I knew I was far from ready to have kids, but I had that chance ripped away from me as well. An image formed in my mind, a baby boy with my brown hair and emerald green eyes. I croaked out a cry, the image haunting my mind. The child that would never exist, but it would always haunt me. I had taken everything for granted, being human and having a menstral cycle. I realized that you had to lose something to see how really valuable it was. I had lost my ability to bear children, and it would haunt me for the rest of my existence. I would never be able to bear kin, or give my parents grandchildren. Not that I would be able to see them again, I realized again. I would never grow old, tire as the sun would set. I could never have the possibility of growing old, with gray hair, and sitting on a porch, watching my grandchildren run around eagerly. I let out a cry, a hand pressed to my stomach.

I lost that opportunity the moment I moved to Forks, I realized. The moment I fell in love with a vampire. I was filled with perception as I grasped that I wanted to bear Edward's child and his child only. But that could never happen. Firstly, because Edward was a vampire and now, because I had lost my ability to reproduce. No, wrong word. It was _stolen_ from me. By my lover himself. The bite marks on my body were proof enough. I rocked myself back in forth, in horror of what I had been forced into.

I had lost everything. My family, my ability to bear kin, my love, my chance at finishing school as a human, and moving onto college. I had lost all possibilities. All the wonderful possibilities of being a human, all of the options. It was gone. Forever.

I cried softly in despair at my new perceptive. I hated my 'life'. If you wanted to call it that. What's a life without possibilities? To always know what would happen to you, no matter what. It was hell. My own personal Hell. I was determined of it. What was I being punished for? For falling in love with Edward? For sacrificing myself to save everyone I loved? Those things hardly seemed like sins. The confusion over swept me, washing out the despair. Why had I been left alone? What had I done wrong? Had I pushed Edward too far in our relationship? _It wasn't a relationship_, a voice murmured in my mind. _You were only a pet_.

Anger replaced the confusion and I stood. He had left me. Damn him. He had left me to be tortured by the burning in my veins. There was no doubt that he was laughing as he walked away. I could just imagine him, head tossed back in merriment, his bronze hair glimmering in the sun while I lay withering in the background. The image made me even more angrier and I slammed my fist into a small tree. It wobbled before falling over, creaking as it descended. He was the one who had taken everything away from me, he was one who had made my life hell. He had faked it, our entire relationship. I should have known. I was never worth anything as a human. Self-hate took the place of anger and I began to curse the day I was born. I had caused the reason of my existence to end my will to live. I was the cause of all of this. Me.

Depression was the last of the emotions to come. I slid to the ground, holding my face in my hands. I was so hurt and confused and sad. The emotions I had shoved down so long were emerging and they choked me. Numbing them had only worsened their effect on my system. I was hurt, who wouldn't be? My family, the Cullens, had abandoned me in the time I needed them the most. They had left me there to be tortured by the endless fire of the venom, with no explanation or guidance to go by. I snarled, hurt washing over me in a tsunami of pain.

Dropping to my knees, I simply sat there, shaking my head in disbelief. They had left me. The people who I had trusted most had betrayed me in the worst way possible; they had left me behind. I stiffened as warm arms slid around me, pulling my into a chest. I was already familiar with Carmen's scent and recognized her instantly. I threw myself at her, wrapping my arms around her and burying my face in her neck. A warning growl warned me that Eleazar was near as well. Two more arms wound around me, then two more. A sweet scent I identified as Rosy Dawn flowers and spring. This must be Tanya. The scent of lavender and cool dawn mornings came next and I sighed. Kate was here too. I wrinkled my nose and breathed in deeply. Under her scent of flowers, there lied a slightly charged scent, almost . . . electrical?

I let them hug me, burrowing into their warmth. I enjoyed this tiny sanctuary for peace for a few tiny seconds before my bottom lip began to tremble.

"My life has been stolen," I whispered. "I have no one left, no where to go." The reality of it was painful.

"Lies," Tanya sang softly. I glanced up at her with curious eyes and she smiled softly at me.

"You're coming home with us." Kate said and I stiffened. I cocked my head to the side before relaxing and giving them a small smile.

_Home._

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_**Sorry for the long wait! This was a very hard chapter to write. I got very frustrated with my computer and, um, sort of almost slapped it...It won't let me center my quote at the top of the page! Humph.**_

_**Feel free to leave a review as you alert and/or favorite me! ;)**_


	5. Staying?

**_Full Summary: What if Edward had been too late to save Bella at the ballet studio? What happens when Bella wakes up, a newborn? And, most importantly, why is she alone? Where is Edward? Where will she go now? To Denali or back to Forks? What has happened to her extended family? Why did they leave her?_**

**_Disclaimer: I own no part of Twilight_**

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**Every life is like a march from innocence, through temptation, to virtue or vice**

**Lyman Abbott**

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I was ushered into the house by the girls the moment we stopped in front of the gorgeous house. I gladly obliged, happy to be out of the backseat with Eleazar. He had insisted on sitting next to me and I had freaked out, insisting that Carmen sit with us as well. We came to a conclusion that I would sit in back with my head lying on Carmen's lap and my feet curled up on the middle seat. Eleazar had sat on my other side, securing my feet. I was not allowed to breathe or look out the window. They were afraid I would see a human and completely give over to my instincts. I couldn't blame them; I was terrified it would happen as well.

Carmen laughed as Kate and Tanya pulled me eagerly through the door, giggling like school girls. I shifted uncomfortably, not sure how to react in this situation. Carmen came to my rescue, taking me by the arm and leading me to their living room. She sat me down on the ivory couch and I examined the room carefully. The ivory couches matched the creamy walls of the room. There was a large window at the west side of the room and I glanced out curiously. The snow glittered in the early dawn and I cringed away from the window, avoiding the sun. There was a large plasma screen TV hanging on the north wall, the only wall that was a pale blue. The coffee table was glass and rested on a light blue rug. The coffee table was settled between the love seat and couch and was a simple black. Many pictures were hung around the room and I stood, attracted to one on the wall behind the couch I had sat on.

In the picture there were Carmen, Eleazar, Kate, and Tanya. But there was also an unknown female. She had golden hair that cascaded down her shoulders, and she had Tanya and Kate locked in her iron embrace. Her white teeth were gleaming as her golden eyes focused on the person taking the camera. I tilted my head to the left curiously as my eyes swept the room again. I noticed she was in most of the pictures in the room. Footsteps approached me and my shoulders tensed up expectantly. I turned and saw Kate looking at the picture I had started out with. There was a wistful expression on her face and I worked up the courage to ask her about the woman.

"W-who is she?" I stuttered finally, nodding to the picture. Kate's face was stony as she replied.

"Irina," she responded. I could tell she wasn't keen on going any further with the subject and bit my lip. My curiousity won over my polite side and I cursed my newborn instincts.

"Is she your sister?" I whispered hesitantly. I didn't want to get on her bad side by insulting her. There was a silence.

"Yes," she said simply. "She found her mate though, a vampire named Laurent, and ran off with him two weeks ago. She left without a good-bye. We have no idea where she is." I took this in carefully, frowning. The name 'Laurent' seemed to ring a bell, but I couldn't recall where I had heard it. My eyes met Kate's as I thought this through.

"I see," I murmured. She didn't seem to hear me, fixated on my eyes. Her eyes were wide and I tried to look away. Her hand shot out, perfectly manicured fingers tilting my chin toward her. I struggled, trying to get out of her grip. Was this an attack? I was terrified. A frightened growl slipped from lips, warningly. Kate paid no attention, getting closer to my face. I growled defensively and struggled even more.

"Eleazar!" Kate called excitedly. My efforts got jerkier as I tried to pull from her grasp. Eleazar was down in a moment and examined our situation carefully. He walked to Kate's side carefully,

"Kate, what's wrong?" he asked gently. A whimper escaped my lips as I fought Kate. She seemed to realize what she was doing and let go of me, sending me an apologetic look. My instincts were in control and I shot to the other side of the room, crouching down defensively.

"Look at her eyes, Eleazar!" she exclaimed in an excited frenzy. Eleazar sent her a perplexed look before blurring over to me. I cringed as he bent down, taking my chin in a much gentler way than Kate's. I stared up at this man in awe. He had once been something I was terrified of, brewing with violence and wariness. Now, he was a person who was of kind nature and love for his family. It had turned out I was wrong about him, and I had misjudged him completely.

I watched, frozen, as his golden orbs peered into mine. His brow furrowed confusedly and a flare of panic rose inside me. What was wrong with me? He must have saw the panic in my eyes because he sent me a reassuring nod. I relaxed slightly, standing straighter. He patted my arm softly, another reassuring gesture. I nodded and wrapped my arms around myself, glancing at Kate warily.

"Kate, you terrified Bella," Eleazar warned. "You know that being a newborn makes her senses hyper-alert. She thought you were attacking her." He gave me a meaning look and Kate flashing me an apologetic, toothy smile.

"Sorry, Bells. I was just fascinated by your eyes," she said, her eyes lighting up. I gave her a small smile as she spoke, chuckling a little at the nickname she gave me. It was amazing; she had known me for a matter of hours and had already given me a nickname. But I was also confused, why was she so fixated on my eyes?

"What's wrong with my eyes?" I asked in my bell-like voice. I flinched at the sound and Eleazar and Kate exchanged a curious glance.

"Bella, your eyes are . . . red still, but there's also a few different variations of red. There are darker reds, and a few light oranges. It's a strange color for a newborn like you. It's like . . . you've had nothing but animal blood since you were changed." his tone had a humoring quality to it. I frowned.

"But I have only drank animal blood since I've been changed," I said, confused. Eleazar froze and Kate gasped. Tanya and Carmen descended down the stairs both looking alert.

"What?" Eleazar asked, bewildered.

"I've only had animal blood in my time as a vampire," I repeated slower. Everyone's eyes widened and I became as still as a statue, uncomfortable with the situation.

"What's wrong?" I asked, agitated. Tanya was the first to recover from the stupor.

"So you've never tasted the blood of a human?" she asked patiently. I shook my head. There was another tension-filled silence. Then Kate burst out laughing.

"Looks like we have a vampire prodigy on our hands," she cackled. I narrowed my eyes.

"Excuse me?" I squeaked, yet it still came out in a beautiful tone.

"Bella, it's amazing for a newborn vampire to have such restraint. Normal newborns usually go into a frenzy caused by the blood lust and thirst." Carmen explained. I nodded to let her know I was following along. "You're saying that you've defied the theory. You were able to choose animals over humans."

"She was in a cave, though," argued Tanya. "She might not even know what a human smells like." The others shuddered at the thought and I frowned.

"But I do," I whispered. "It's the most sweetest, intoxicating scent you've ever inhaled. It sets my throat on fire, and my instincts go wild. Ever nerve of my body screams 'hunt'." There was an awed silence after that.

"Y-you've smelled a human scent?" Eleazar said, aghast. "And you were able to resist?" I nodded, grimacing.

"More than once," I said grimly. The others gasped, and Tanya put a hand over her lifeless heart.

"Damn!" Kate exclaimed. "It must be her power, Eleazar! She could have super-control or something."

*For a tiny space, I was disappointed. What? No magic visions, no formidable offensive abilities like oh, shooting lightening bolts from my eyes or something? Nothing helpful or cool at all? And I realized what that might mean, if my "superpower" was no more than exceptional self-control. For one thing, at least I had a gift. It could have been nothing. And if it was was gift, it would mean I could skip over the whole part I had feared most about being a vampire. I could skip my newborn phase and all the blood lust that came with it. A small smile flitted across my face.

"No," Eleazar denied and my heart sank. "She's a shield. At least, I think she is. I can't tell. She's blocking me right now."

I stared at Eleazar, my brows furrowing in confusion. Shield? What did he mean about my blocking him? I was standing right here beside him, not defensive in any way.

"Amazing!" Kate exclaimed. "It's like Renata's, but only it's like her's is a mental shield." I was confused beyond logic and stood there, looking back and forth between Kate and Eleazar. Tanya caught my alarmed look and stepped in to explain.

"Renata is a well known vampire for the guard of the Volturi," she told me, "and she's a physical shield. What Eleazar and Kate are suggesting is that you are a shield like Renata, except a mental sheild. Eleazar's gift is to detect and identify the gifts of other vampires. But because of your gift, Eleazar is unable to identify your gift. Does that make things better?" I nodded, but my forehead creased in confusion again.

"What's a Volturi?" I asked hesitantly. She seemed so sure and confident of what she spoke of, it made me feel so immature and unknowing. Which was true. Kate and Carmen exchanged a behind Tanya's back that I couldn't decipher.

"The Volturi are a family," she explained, her eyes wary. "A very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closet thing our world has to a royal family, I suppose. Eleazar has spent some of his time there, studying with the Volturi coven: Aro, Marcus, and Caius. The guard is a group of vampires that, well, guard the coven. There's a lot of them. They're the biggest coven known today . . . " she trailed off. I shifted uneasily, feeling awkward. Eleazar sent a smile my way and I was taken off guard once again by the amount of kindness in his eyes. I swallowed thickly, avoiding his eyes guiltily.

"Come on, Bella. Let's go find a room for you to settle in," Kate said cheerfully and my muscles locked. My eyes widened to the size of saucers and I stopped breathing. Instantly, Tanya shifted into her feet slightly. It was only a small movement, but my brain automatically determined her stance as one prepared to leap into action. I took a deep breath and bit my lip, grimacing at how sharp my teeth were.

"What is it, Bella?" Carmen asked softly.

"I . . . you . . . " The words stuck in my throat uncomfortably. Carmen came to my side, laying a warm hand on my forearm. My eyes became dry and I swallowed uncomfortably. My throat felt bone-dry after I had swallowed and I turned away. Kate came to my other side, taking my hand encouragingly.

"Y-you want me to stay?" I whispered. I was terrified. What if they didn't want me to stay? Where else would I go? I wanted to go back to the cave, back to the state I was in before, but it didn't seem right. Now that I had fed and had a clear mind, I could see that the state I had been in was abnormal for a vampire. So what would I do? Wander the earth, praying to find something to occupy my time for all eternity? There was a silence and the others seemed to be looking at each other, discussing something privately. I closed my eyes, sinking to the couch. They didn't want me. It was obvious enough, the way they acted around me. I let my face drop into my hands in despair, realizing that I was truly alone in this world.

"Bella?" said Tanya gently. "Look at me." I struggled not to start bawling right there. I raised my head, meeting her light amber eyes.

"We want you to stay with us," Tanya said. "We want you to be in our family. Our new sister. If that's what you want." Kate was anxiously wringing her hands, eyes begging me to say yes. My mouth fell open, and I started to gape like a fish, unable to speak. I blinked; one, twice, three times. I attack Tanya at the waist, tackling her to the ground and burying my face in her stomach.

"Yes!" I gasped. "Please, yes! Thank you so much!" Laughter echoed around the room and Tanya sat up, pulling me into a proper hug. I hugged her tightly, and she shifted uncomfortably.

"Okay, um, easy there, Bella. Oomph, ouch. Just a little gentler." She winced and I let go of her quickly.

"Sorry!" I exclaimed. "I guess I . . . don't know my own strength yet." I frowned, this subject new to me. I had never had to worry about crushing somebody with a hug. A laugh bubbled at my lips and Tanya giggled with me. Kate rolled her eyes, coming over to pull me up.

"Come on!" She complained. "Let's go get you settled and changed. Then we can talk." I nodded and she tugged me to the stairs. She let go of my hand, winking at me and darting up the stairs. If I had been human, I wouldn't have been able to see her. But as a vampire, I was able to follow her every step and movement. She ran out of my sight and I followed her, placing my feet in the exact spots her's had been in. I flew up the stairs, my speed creating a slight wind that gently pushed my hair back. I paused for a moment at the top of the stairs, turning slightly to look at the rest of the family downstairs. Tanya smiled encouragingly at me and Carmen and Eleazar beamed. I offered a small smile before turning to follow Kate.

I wondered how a family could know someone for such a little time and accept them so quickly, inviting them into their family. I was part of a family again. And, somehow, it temporarily took away the pain from my troubles and thoughts of the Cullens.

Temporarily being the key word.

* * *

_**Decided to split this chapter into two, this chapter and the next. Reviews are welcome..in fact, they are encouraged!**_


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